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You may be pondering, perhaps even worrying your little heads, about my survival sans collar. Gold digging at convenience stores & casinos Now I must hop into my Lexus to drive to my fancy job at Enron.” Perhaps I’ll read this in ten years and think to myself, “Silly little girl and her un-American schemes. And the resoluteness of the American Dream won’t satisfy me, or my fellow Gems, or probably any human with an inquiring perspective. Look, I know there are plenty of humans out there who enjoy the routine, cherish the assurance of an industry that plans their weekly schedule for them, but I’m a Gemini, Taurus, still a Gemini and us May/June babies have a tendency to be flighty, to crave the new, to succumb to our own whims. I doubt they realized they were actually queuing up for sixty-hour workweeks, ten vacation days and the lackluster white picket fence that their own fathers built. I remember my peers anticipating the interview for acceptance into the esteemed business school at my alma mater. If I wanted to become a robot, programmed to the routine of counting down to five o’clock, glued to a swivel chair under the command of a suit and tie, I would have become an accountant. The corporate caliber of nine to five that we’ve grown to revere as the American Dream is actually American Shit. Crunchy and salty like pretzels, which are so good. Shall I keep my words soft and sweet, in the case I must eat them? I think not. But I think the adventure lies beyond that ladder. Left and right and all around seem to be easily dismissed. A country club membership and a company credit card might make the sun shine for a ladder climber, but I’m not so sure “up” is the right direction. With the exception of next season’s wardrobe, I’m not sure I want the things that everyone else seems to covet. White picket fences, 2.5 kids and a Lexus don’t exactly light my fire. Perhaps I should further explain my stance against collars and their implications. I identify with the sleazy man with the great brain.
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You’re doomed because you don’t know how to make it on your own or you have nothing to fall back on.“ You’re stuck because now you feel like you can’t lose your “real” job. Before you realize it, you’ve begun to meet fewer people your drive dissipates your ambitions dwindle and your passions take a back seat to “getting things done.” Suddenly, you’ve been transformed into a hollow shell of yourself, tricked into putting your plans on hold indefinitely-willing to deal with your misery in exchange for the comfort of a paycheck. Little by little, inch by inch, "real” jobs suck the humanity from you, enticing you to put self-sufficiency on the back burner by luring you deeper into their pockets with promises of bonuses, extra vacation days and cute-sounding perks like “Casual Fridays.” Distractions and tasks start to get the better of you and complacency takes over. “Real jobs slowly kill your entrepreneurial ambitions. Real jobs have one mission: to ensure that you keep creating value for employers under the guise of safety, security and career advancement. Oops.Īn excerpt from the book Never Get a “Real” Job by Scott Gerber (who looks sort of sleazy on the book cover, but I like his brain).
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